rehab

door,
you close yourself on me, 
crossing my threshold you choose to seek 
a room of blank moans
of the starving souls...
dust and heat,
and i retreat
into the black abyss of 
those days from which i thought
i recovered long ago.
hands stretched out they scream my name
and abuse what i had been,
what i am..
am i the same?...
...
door, 
you close upon me 
without a slit of a breeze
without a gap or space
you pound the half risen thoughts to a pulp
and i gulp
terror welling up within
tears clasping
relapsing
into a sodden mould
of nothingness
...
door, 
the latch turns you solid
i can't waste away again
it is too white for my taste
the bed, clothes and chair...
i need sunlight not a tube,
i need love not lube, 
i ask for the key, not the strength
...
door, 
let me out once again...