Friday, October 28, 2011

~



a song to hum


a thought to think


words astray


tears on the brink


a simple sigh


or a sweet hello


vacuum for long


dry rusty mellow...


too cold


long hours


and minutes


and seconds...


"two worlds"


not two latitudes


that never meet 


but run on alone...


caved in from myself


me , me , and only me...


that is all i can see.


~


i















Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Jumma



    standing high above the ground
    somewhere almost amidst the clouds
    i peer down
    breathless

    partly the view
    partly panting from the climb, and
    partly waiting in sheer anticipation of you

    you had said it would be a miracle...
    i had dreamt otherwise
    scared you see,
    till i would see your figure rise

    out from the shadows of the staircase below
    it was like 'an affair to remember'
    and a tad like 'sleepless in seattle'
    i wish i was speaking to you, you know...

    telling you what was running through this head of mine
    around me, in this narrow marble turret, all seemed fine...
    surrounding me was a filigreed wall,
    and you could just gaze out at shahjahanabad
    red sandstone glimmering amidst it all

    and a whole horde of countless heads whizzing past
    in the streets below
    while in the lofty tower, wind blew my hair untidily in a familiar gust

    i looked at my watch
    it was past 12 long back
    you werent coming i guess
    i had been straining to see if i could see you cross the courtyard
    and make your way up here
    but the sun was making those thoughts digress

    i really couldn't see you from up here today
    moments passed giving rise to fleeting flashes
    and i was sitting like Rapunzel without a prince i say!

    too numb i got up to leave
    the moment i turned to enter the exit
    i saw instead
    the curled mass of a head

    resting his back against the wind
    as if he had been lazily sitting behind me
    ... for eternity
    and you said
    'aye bosh, onekhkhon to darali...' 

,
b

Monday, August 29, 2011

Chiriyakhana

onek din por, aj hutt kore shokal ta kirom golapi hoye gelo... koto ki je hoy jaha taha. jibon ta kirom Mar Adentro's moton collage er rup niye slow motion e flash back kore uthlo khannikhon er jonno. chinta bondho korbo bollei to r kora jaena. etar stop, pause, back korar button nei. thakle money hoy mojao hoto na. ekgheye hoye jeto. cliched. koekta bhishon kacher aakrey dhorey thakar moton kacher muhurto kar na bhalo lagey money antey... class er faakey return sms pora, lukiye lukiye balisher tolae torch mere romanchokor spy thriller er shesh pata gela, sritir sathey joriye thaka sequential moments er koekta purono hindi gaan, (koekta kobita porle jemon thik kono kono character mathaye chole ashey), nijhum raatey adda dewa... 
oshombhob personal kichu muhurto.
koto ki je hoy jaha taha...
expression to shudhu representation of one's thoughts.
bhabji jodi boi likhtam tahole naam ki ditam - rojnamcha?
na chiriyakhana... (heehee...hothat kore dumbcharade er ekta rhyme korar golpo mone chole elo!)


reverting back to the topic arekta kotha aj mathaye elo hothat kore. do we fall in love with the person, or do we fall in the idea of love itself... kobira akashe batashey bichoron kortey kortey bole geche je 'bhalobasho bhalobasho'. lyang marle ki korbe sheta kintu kono manual e lekha nei. ota theke shekho ar ki!!! aj ruposhi bangla porchilam.ek bondhu desh charchey. bhabjilam jibonanando diley kemon hoy...


kotha theke kothae chole gelam.
second time this evening. khei rahiye gelo.
idanging hocchey. agey erom hoto na.
naam dhorey keu dakey na to, tai ar ki.
aar janina keno aj hothat abar ekta bhishon shundor line barey barey money pore jacchey : "...afterward i went passed what you had passed , before we met and you, what i had passed..." (robert frost)





sweet thoughts of you in vain
beneath clouds murmuring in the breeze
wrong turns in the road
yet silvery misty showed
up ahead by the sea...


you called out my name
i saw through your game
pirate ships and grilled balcony
it was, what it wasn't to be...


do you pine for me dear one
do you know i pine for you
is this deep emotion too much to handle
too much to hide or show...


if you need a hand to hold you 
and cross the bridge again,
call out my name, dear one
i'll reach out
inspite of all...
in vain.


,
b






Sunday, August 28, 2011

t i t l i


it is wierd.
sometimes a single line can disrupt your entire thought process or your fine balance.
titli was in love for a long time. it seemed like she knew her husband for ages. as she watched her son pore over his statistics book, and nod his head once to a sudden silent exhilaration of a sudden solution to a sum, she turned her head towards her window. outside a plane went whirring overhead with a loud noise. she tried to remember the events of the last evening. 
it was their fifth anniversary. titli's husband had come home with red orchids. she was terribly fond of red, and was delighted that he still remembered it. the evening had passed slowly and silently. titli's son had gone off to sleep and they had made quiet passionate love on the balcony of their high rise apartment with the lights of the nearby road glittering in the deep distant. later when she got up to shuffle across the floor to the bathroom, she saw the computer had not been switched off. her husband was nowhere to be seen and the screen was open at a letter...
the words went washy infront of her blurry eyes.
benaras... BHU campus... ganga ghat... doodh and rabri shop... lights... firewood in the distance... misty early mornings... happy memories with you...
a window was open.
it said, i miss you.
"what are you doing!!!why are you still awake!!!"
titli jumped up in fright...and she backed away...
scared to even look at him.

the cat meowed from her kitchen.
it wanted some milk. she was moved out of her reverie.
life... it was a joke to her just like her marriage was.
a joke. a pointless funny joke. she sighed and got up to feed her cat.

,


b

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

r a n d o m



you know what i am most afraid of the most? i'm not really afraid, i know it as a fact and i don't want to accept it.

5 years...no maybe 10. 10 years later, my life will cease to exist the way i live it now. the way i get up late and study and paint and go to sleep again. the way i roam around places with not a care in the world. the way i enjoy holidays with my family at home. the way i enjoy doing nothing at times. the way i sit at my laptop video-speaking to a half a dozen people whom i madly care about. the way i lie in lazy afternoons reading books on snake princes or even about the italian renaissance combined... everything will change. everything has its end. being as immature as i am now, i can very well say my world will come tumbling down. people will have their own lives, parents will die, siblings will wander off, cousins will grow old, best male friends will get married, and best female friends will possibly have maniacal husbands.

precisely three days ago, in a moment of acute sadness of bidding adieu to a friend leaving for a far off country, i voiced this fear to a dear old pal and he told me, "its the moment we need to focus on, to live. the fear of everything ending tomorrow should never prevent you from living what you want to do, right now... maybe things will change that drastically, maybe they will not, but it doesn't mean that because of that fear of losing everything tomorrow you will give up living your today!"

and twenty years down the line when there might be no family left, these friends will stay. irrespective of the distance. i mean, those who are meant to stay on will stay irrespective of everything and not just the distance. 

it is true.
but hard.
well, 
Life's Like That.







Monday, August 22, 2011

P E O P L E


koustuv

koek muhurter jonno prochondo hingshey hoyechilo jedin koustuv nachtey nachtey skype e bollo je o Paris jacchey Joan Baez er concert dekhtey. prochondo. engriji tey dramatic hotey gele boltam "i was seething in anger that i was not going to be part of it" :) but sheta jiboner erom turning point hoye darabe ami shopneo bhabtey parini. 

tilak

firey ashar por bohudin por ritwik er chobi dekhlam. ekti chobi jeno bhishon bhabey haunt korlo. tatey jhok er boshe likheo fellam "eta ki ritwik da?" aar koustuv bollo - "hya etai ritwik da". tar por eki chobir tolae arekti manush er shongey alap holo. alap ta odbhut. i mean facebook er doulotey ki na hoy prithibitey ajkal. shei shokal theke gota bela goriye gelo, tar sathey kotha jeno r shesh hoyna. koto kotha, koto adda, bisheshoney shobisheshey shhe chilo Tilak Mukherjee.
prottekta wavelength e jeno miley gelo. odbhut bhabey bikel ta phonei kete gelo shedin. tarpor shuru holo koustuv, tilak da ar amar adda. je chilo araley, maney jar chobir tolae oto golpo badha holo, sheo elo addae...
roj er bhaat ar mach er jhol khawar moton boshto ei adda.
din er por din.
i mean raat er por raat...

koustuv

ek shomoy ei faded golapi ghor tae ami prothom antakshari khelechilam koustuv er sathey. or sathey amar cross connection hoye jae. chandannagar ei bari, othocho school e thaka kalin konodin chintam na. college e uthey almost charar ager muhurtey bondhutto. tarpor masters e dujonei dilli ashar shujog pelam. chele elo isi tey, ami roye gelam kolkata bishwabidyalaye. mphil e dilli elam, uni chole gelen dilli chere hyderabad... tarpor saat shomuddur tero nodir parey - shudur barcelona. othocho edik odik theke amader golper kono shesh nei. we could pick up the threads exactly  from where we left off.

tilak

oshombhob talented chele. ami judgement ditey boshini, sref mon er kotha ta bolchi. the passion and love with which he plays music...and enjoys it thoroughly... hats off to this boy. folk, jazz, rock...shomosto. hastey parey, hasatey parey, oshombhob dhoirjo niye shonar khomota achey, aar ekta mosto boro dil er sathey achey, nijeke underestimate korar oshim khomota. ami eta ekkebarey ignore kori :) tilak mukherjee. amra tomae bhishon bhishon bhakobashi.

dutto

college e thaka kalin ekti dino kotha hoyni. maney chintam na emon ta na. but oi kotha hoyni. prothom bar oovoo tey kotha and dutto boley uthlo - "ma, dilli eshe ebar amar baritey tor payer dhulo diye jash". ghor e dhukei dekhechilam ekta lal poster : "jimmy jimmy jimmy jimmy - aja aja aja aja".fell in love with the place immediately. tor notun bari tar cheye ota aro aro aro bhalo chilo. hoyto toder shokkol ke peyechilam boley oi ghor tae tai. bhor e uthey jumma jawar din, auto k dutto'r chotto "deal" dewa theke lahiri ar amar "before marriage, after marriage" chobi tola, theke kasauli church e "shoshurbaritey chobi jabe - oyndrila ful dhorey pose maar" theke chail er rastae bus er pechon e "rokke rokke" boley chota... kinba jigesh kora truth and dare e "career na rb?"... 
chail palace er ticket memento kore rakhar jonney shokoley tit-bit likhe dilo - dutto shundor kore "Dutto dutto dutto" boley shoi mere ferot dilo :)
dutto dutto dutto

ishita

or naam ta paltey fele "miss managerial expert" diye diyechi. okey chara chail kasauli impossible chilo. jabona jabona jabona kore koto ghyan ghyan... tao ei meyetai ticket kete rakhlo amar jonnyo. acted along when i told her kauke na boltey amio jacchi. amae bcc kore mail pathano, innovative thread shuru kora trip ta niye... gotobaar eli jokhon tokhun dekha hoyni tor sathey, ebarer dekha tai jeno howar chilo. three and more than three cheers to her. amader modhye nazrul giti (shhe nazrul jotoi jali kobi hok na keno) shudhu ishitai gaitey parey :) gota chail er rastae matiye rekhechilo ei meye. 

tilak

camera ta haralam jokhon, it was he who said lets retrace our steps back to find out if we can get it back. uttiya, malini, tilak ar ami shei kasauli market place theke hotel porjonto almost chuttey chuttey firey gechilam. tar por theke ei chele amar hatehy camera diye rakhto - "ne tui tol"

uttiya

kotha hariye felbo ebar. janu keno boli?... shudhu or cell e amar naam "oyndrila jnu" save kora achey tai jonno na. erom nipat matir manush aj kal pawa jaena. he was there when nobody else was. bedi tey boshey amader gaan er adda, amar bhishon depressed shomoy pashe eshe darano, eksathey gangar dikey takiye cheye thaka nishpolokey, bhul korar jonno or bokaboki, "aj jyotsna raatey shobai geche bon e" theke "meine tere liye hei saat rang k sapne chuney". du botol budweiser kheye uttiya shedin shondhyay duttor rannaghor er korai bajiye gelo. ki oshombhob energy chilo shedin tor uttiya... aar ki fatafati enthu diye shobar gaan er sathey tui bajiyei geli... karur tor  moton guts nei bishwash kor. keu dare nito na :) keu megher koley railing e helan diye dariye abritti kortey partona, Janu...

malini

chele gulo amader ghorei eshe hangama korto. na na i take back that sentance. amra shobai amader ghor tae utpaat kortam shondhey belae. ora choley gele, shundor korey abar poripat ikore guchiye niye ghum ditam raatey. prothom din chail e raat e showar shomoy malini k bollam - tui keno college e amar sathey kotha bolti na? malini instantly reply diyechilo - tuio to konodin bolish ni. roj ghumatey jawar shomoy ekbar kore chokh bondho korar age jodi fishfishiye bole uthi - malini, goodnight... rege jash na. tokey bhishon miss kori. miss kori tor duttor sathey glass er sathey hathey cheers mara, miss kori tor dumb charade e rhyme kore point pawa, miss kori tor golae old english songs like Diamonds and Rust, miss kori tor oi choshma ta... tor money thakar kotha noy. tor ink pen ta diye, eka eka dutto'r khatey shuye ami prothom chithi likhi ritwik ke... tui bolechili, "kali shesh hoye jete parey oyndrila." but miracles happen. kali shedin shesh hoyni re :) amae ekta point to de ebaar!

dutto

chivalrous naki o noy. he walked me back to my hostel when i was unwell. accha define chivalry. ar shedin er koekta kotha ami konodin bhulbona. tor money achey kina janina. but tui shedin amae eto encourage korechili... money achey, dutto ki bolechili? you said i had the guts to come out with it in the open and stand by my decision. money achey?

ishita

already mohila lege porechen december er berano ta ayojon kortey. ebar kintu amra shobbai help korbo, aar orokom hut haat janala diye paliye gele hobena kintu ;)

ritwik

hothat kono boishak er, dur-pahari alo
raat er por raat boltey tumi, ei to achi bhalo
hothat je ki hoye gelo, naki hothat ta thik noy
tumi bodhoy ashtei tai, tara rao kotha koy...
its all sad moist brown little earth. its all about coming in and going out, with passing through in between. same old grey forgettable days in the middle , and a few bright orange fleeting moments. how i hated this line as your signature in your emails. money hoto kikorey etar essence ta k destroy kora jae... ritwik the rationalist. tomae besh lagey.

oyndrila

boddo beshi involved hoye pore.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

not so much



far across that continent
where the plates move
and the earth is bent

i will swoop across the sky today
i will gather speed and fly...

where clouds will part
and the sea, sings her songs
of swirling foam, where
my heart belongs...
of vivid iridescent hues of dusk
and you, my love by me...

where simply by the flowing water and sand
we're free to build our ethereal castles and
at that moment when the lights go low
and the breeze would blush to speak you know
a thousand other thoughts i would give a miss
for your warm arms around me..
for your kiss.


~

b

Friday, July 29, 2011

Red Man





I met this young boy who showed me the world
Who told me that life was not grey or white
People would come and people would go
But all that mattered was how cruelly they would fight


He showed me what he dreamed to fulfil
The dedication he had, seemed to work uphill
The dreams he possessed was laced in pain
Every day was a challenge, a lesson to gain


Clear cut in his views he would speak of a time
When together we would live, within reason and rhyme
Where cribbing and bickering was a twist of chance
Where every microcosm was spellbound in a dance


This young boy was generous and jolly and kind
He rested all problems of mankind in his mind
We knew we could all depend on him
His passion was different, flowing over the brim


The only thing that bothers me now
Bearing the brunt of everything around,
Taking care of everything he holds dear
In the end, who WIll take care of him, I fear


~

os

Thursday, May 12, 2011

A Meander


I thought I will never write a line again
I never thought I will
Isn’t there a phase in everybody’s lives where one stops completely and seeks no more
Isn’t there a phase in everybody’s lives where they stop looking back and even forth
I’m not trying to write a poem
Oh I am not
So don’t mind me, it is just scrap.
That day when I was flying over god knows what the state was, maybe UP,
I saw a meandering river
Pushed by the burden and volume of water, it bent over and curved continuously as an old living body
Ultimately it pushed itself out, to form a singular ox-bow lake
Moral of the story is that, (and i have been getting a lot of moral of the stories for quite some time now, the tortoise and hare trilogy)
I am not a river, I’m human. Hence even if I am pushed with burden and what not
I will withstand the motion and not keel over
The strength to stop me from doing so will take away all I possess
But I will not keel over
That is the irony of fate.
And he says I will laugh at his back and forget him.
And he says he will fight fate
He will fight whatever comes to walk against the tide
To sword it in its face and tell it to go to hell
I say, even if you think you will do the opposite
It is written from before
Even that is pre destined.
I historian, not the material scientist, tend to believe in destiny. Alexander believed in chance.
Not me.
I don’t see any of that with my myopic vision
Bullshit.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

First Song


Once not too long ago
In a world devoid of spite and grief
There lived a maiden, dressed in painted pain
Yet, she wore her golden heart, on her sleeve
...
It’s not her eyes, that matters much to me
She had a vigorous, spirit much too free
She ran the gauntlet, with danger all the time
Joy was when, her voice rang out in rhyme
...
All the meadows, became much too green
The brooks filled out, deliciously again
Spring was dancing to her tune, much to her delight
Her retreating footsteps, ushered in the night
...
Like a bird, traversing her sky
Her home was where, her heart had made a try
But she knew, she had to go away
Not a plant, or a soul could make her stay
...
Her life remained, a dream to dole out love
Bring forth some laughter, a giddiness and spark
As years passed by, one tended to forget
How we lost her, in the dreamy distant dark
...
Once not too long ago
In a world devoid of spite and grief
This girl, she taught us how to live a life
How to love, how to give, how to strive...

Friday, March 11, 2011

gaNjakhuri


Scene one:
Ekti forsha chele boshey achey, tar mukh ta thik dekha jacche na. pechone dewal ar almarir oporer Nandita Das ar Bob Dylan er duto poster abcha bojha jachcey. Shomoy shondhya kina bojha jachey na, halka alo ashchey ekhono janala diye. Onekkhon holo dujonei chup. Ki jeno ekta taal kete geche. Kotha boltey boltey hothat kore bairey brishti portey arombho holo, probol bege…odbhut jorey, shamney thakle hoyto awaj e emnitei keu kaukey shuntey peto na. ei oshombhob bhashiye dewa srabon er prothom plabon e hoyto dujonei bheshei jeto. Chele ta erom kichu bhabje na, or mon porey achey, barir chaad er ghor tae, koto din eromi adho shondhya bela katiye chilo nirjoney, pub diker kon er barir dikey takiye, kinba, chaad er railing er bairey hath baar kore, brishtir chaat dhorar cheshtae, kotobar nijei bhiegeche. Bari tey erom katano tae jeno kono koshto chilona, janto ek haak parley, ma gorom gorom cha niye hajir hobe, tarpor, shondhya dholtey dholtey cha er sathey ma and chele tey miley jombey darun adda. Kintu aj jeno brishti ta chokey angul diye dekhiye dichchey, shoto haak parleo ma cha er cup haathey ashbena, shotobar bairey haath baraleo brishtir jol er sathey, kon er barita konobhabei dekha jabena…shotobar cheshtha korleo kichutei chokh bondho korlei sada oshombhob bhabey clinically porishkar ghorta, shei jonjal bhora chaad er ghor hoye jabena… oshombhob eka. Oshombhob eka.

Scene two:
Onnojon er mukh e kotha nei. Karon ektai. She reads every unsaid word on his face. And it pains her that she cannot reach out and say, its alright…its fine.eto bhabish na. ar matro koekta din to. Dekhtey dekhtey bochor ta shesh hoye jabe. It pains her to accept that she is helpless here. Kono bhabey Jodi or potent byatha tar kono relief ditey parto…atleast kichu ekta Jodi appropriate boltey parto. Goto 7 bochor er modhye to konodin aj obdi sensible kichu boltey pareni, aj Jodi boltey parto…if only. Imagination was so strong and fanciful to her, that she could almost close her eyes and feel the rains splash against her moist skin, leaving running trails down her arms, and she could almost hear his silent breath on her neck when they stood at the window, facing the greenery and buildings in the distance even more hazy with rain… she could almost sense his melancholy and her heart tore to reach out to him, wrap him in her arms and soothe him with gibberish baby-talk, something incommunicable to us, but meaning the world to them… she could almost feel his hard skin under her hands and she could almost see him, looking up to her like a lost kid, hair ruffled, wanting to be patted on the head, and given a kiss… when she opened her eyes, he was still staring outside the window. A screen of silence separated them, or maybe it was the only thing that connected them along with the modem.

Scene three:
Dari ta rakheni thank god, but jhulpi ta dekhe boss…kono purono din er black and white almost hero hotey hotey villain er role pawa kono obhinetar moton lagje. Bhodro keu holey bolteo “bah tomae to besh kobi kobi lagje”. Guitar kadhey cycle chalano teo aantalmi dekhatey na parley r ki presidency tey porashuno kora. Emon ekta bhab korey cycle chalano je money hoy, every single fibre of his body seems to say to his unquestioning audience – ei, rokkey, tumi ki jano je ami bajatey pari, huhu…tomra ki paro? blood relation na thakleo jimi Hendrix amar shomporkey pisho hon, ar john amar dada. John maney john denver noy, oshob khuki der faltu idol worship, ei john hochhyen john lennon. Beatles er nam shononi? Aha, poka makor er kotha k bolchey, ki shob antabrir dol, beatles ekta band, boyish ta ki gachey chorey bereche? Unissho shottorey kothae chiley? Mog daaley? Na college ey? Kader niye shonshar korchi, bhoga tuley ne!

Tearing her eyes off the screen, she picks up his call. Oshomoye bibroto koratey guitarist ekkebarey genius. Bol.ki byapar, kodin dhorey phone tulchilina, eto bar message korlam, ekta replyo dilina, presentation kemon gelo? Tokey to pawai day. Eto busy mohila je ki korey amar priyo bondhu hotey parlo bhogobani janey shala. Ektu byasto chilam, bol ki hoyche? Bhalo achish to? Ami bhalo achi. Presentation went well. Chap achey ei semester e janish to, final sem e onek kaj thakey, dissertation er kaj kortey kortey pagol hoye jachchi. Hya hya, bujhechi. Shob byastotai to amar phone ele tor bere jae. Ki korchili? Emni kichuna, keno bol to? Na, haathey amar jonno shamannyo shomoy achey? Hya bol.. bolbona, ekta gaan shonatey chai, toke shonannor jonnoi kal theke pagol hoye gechi.. eto baar tai phone korchilam…Jamaican farewell’r ekta bangle version achey, janish? (he was still gazing out in the distance, lost in thought… what is he thinking, I wish I could know…I wish he would let me in) hya shunechi. Kalu’r golaye shunechilam… oh, besh besh, ami sheta kal shuney odbhut bhabey emotional hoye gechilam…praye kedei felechilam janish…tui shuntey pachchish to?(chords a, d, e…’r tung tang awaj elo, besh taaleyi) shona, ami shunci …
Aha pother prantey oi shudur gaye,jetha shomoy thomke thamey boter chaaye,
aha shondhya dwip joley tarar tip, ar fuler gondhye mor mon mataye,
aha kon shudhur shei shopnopur, mor mon j gaye ghor e ferar shur,
mor poth cheye ajo shei meye, bujhe shopnojal boney gaan geye...
She realized her eyes were swimming. It was disastrous. She hoped he would remain looking away…she didn’t want him to know. She was not weak. It was the last thing she was. She couldn’t let him feel. She wouldn’t… kon shudur shei shopno pur, mor mon je gaye ghorey ferar shur…mor poth cheye, ajo shei meye, bujhi shopnojal boney gaan geye… as if she was waiting for him, as if she was really waiting for him to come back, waiting for him to say something… bullshit! ... but she was. She would forget everything, give up everything, everything. Just one word… One simple word, or even a look…please look at me, it’s the right moment…twilight streamed through his glasses and filled the room… she could almost inhale the fresh fragrance of the earth that came in with the first monsoon showers… could he be thinking of her…

and at that very instant…He turned.

kirey Bonya
Bonya…

Scene four:
And she disconnected the phone. Hot tears splashed down her eyes as her hands fumbled at the modem wire to yank it out of the laptop. She ran out of the room. Damn the retro hero, his timing for playing such a song was as worse as his pronunciation of the word “angel”!!! damn him. All his fault. As brilliantly as he sang, she would deal with him later. As fast as her legs would take her… across the corridor, across the lawn, up the stairs, four flights, till she reached the terrace, and sank down on the upper parapet, struggling against the wind to keep seated back. She loved to risk everything. Her life seemed very petty at that moment. She had willingly let him go, not stopping to even make the slightest urge to stop him or ask for a fragment of his heart. He had never understood, and it was fallacy to hope that he would. A few shared sentiments, old instrumental music, an old tin of Havana mini cigars, an old breezer bottle painted with enamel paint was all that was left tangible between them… the rest was to be with her forever. He had no right over it. If he never asked her to love him, how could he ask her to stop loving him and forget him and move on with life? Everything was not a hindi film, it was not a scripted play to know the beginning and the end. It was not a game. If only she had moved out when she had the chance… if only… she could have caught him by his collar and shook him and told him to shut up and listen to her for once. She wished she could stop feeling so much. It was a pain. Every story doesn’t have an abrupt ending. But what if there was an abrupt ending to this, and she wondered… And somewhere in the distance, soft wails of Yumeshi’s theme from an
old movie sadly faded away and she closed her eyes till…
there was no more and left.


Buntai
New Delhi
8th March 11




                                                                  forshar nandita




                                                                       forshar dylan

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Class KG - C





I couldn’t think of how to describe a perfectly beautiful childhood. we all were kids, we all were scolded and thrashed and the horrors of being a naughty kid was aplenty, but happy memories remain deep down in the corners of the mind... faint ... waiting to resurface. 

Do you remember the time when you were not there? Of course how could you, you were not there. You were growing up in different circumstances, and with different friends around you...I was growing up too, but in a different way. My school was a co-ed school when I got admitted but by the time, I reached class 5, all the boys had left for a boys’ school in the neighbouring town. The story of my admission is extremely dicey too. My mother used to teach in the school, where once she had studied too. Now when I was a kid, merely 4 years and with extremely innovative tantrums right at the time when she had to get ready to go to school at 8 am, she would invariably indulge me and get late every single day. Sitting smug at this point in life I feel sorry for the fact that I was such a brat.

The principal, Sister Andrea loved her very much because she was one of those really nice girls in school who cared for everybody around her and loved her school and was ready to sacrifice all her time for the young kids. So Sister Andrea gave her an idea, she said, bring her to school with you so that she can’t be naughty anymore and let’s see how it goes. And so I used to go with her, and later when admission forms were out, she even handed my mother a set asking her to submit them. I was the youngest of the lot. 4 years, I mean who sits for a kindergarten interview at 4 years flat? I don’t really remember what happened at the interview, but based on the stories I heard from ma and baba, I gather that Sister Andrea along with Mrs Rita Ukil (my biology teacher in classes 9-10) and someone else who I don’t remember was there. The funniest memory I have is that of the rest of the other bawling kids around me, all screaming, or hyper active panicky, while I was sitting dangling my legs from a table top, gazing at the insanity setting in steadily more among the parents than among their kids.

Soon enough I realized I was in class KG.C with the most wonderful teacher Miss Nita Chowdhury. She was a darling, and specially loved me. (I mean everybody does, how can they not love someone as adorable as me J, eh?? ) I spent my days scraping my knees and playing with the boys, (there were absolutely no girls in this horrendously hooligan group, all ninnies i must say, all miss-goody-goody's!!) breaking windows with wild ball throwing and cricket, standing in the sun holding my ears, and losing my specs all the time, while I would see my mother walk back across the field with her colleagues, who would all smile and say – now what have you done, Oyndrila?? What an embarrassment! I remember going to the senior staffroom when ma called, to have curd, sitting on her table terribly scared to look at all those cross old teachers who looked so stern and grim. I remember waiting at lunch one day for ma, when I saw her scolding another tall girl in a green uniform, who was sobbing profusely and almost shaking... I remember being in awe of this woman then. To me, she was one who told me stories at night and woke me up in her arms every day. But at that moment she seemed a woman of power, a woman of command. I refused to go back to the staffroom ever again.

The afternoons were very boring. We had a horrible thing for 1 hour before 2 pm assembly – the sleeping period; where boys and girls in class would have to put their heads down and eyes shut and go to sleep! How perfectly dreadful! We sleep t home, why on earth should we sleep at school that too on a perfectly sunny day with the entire field just beckoning to us to come and play!!!

One day after school, when I was waiting for ma to come from the senior school, an idea struck my mind, and I re-entered the classroom with a piece of chalk in hand and started scribbling and pretending to shout at a room full of non-existent students! I also drew an elephant, a cat, copied numbers from my maths notebook, and in big bold letters with a smiling face at the end of the line, I had scrawled : “ABBA is my best friend” J Not my mistake really, I grew up listening to the LP gramophone records of old English albums at home, and I took care to even write the second “B” of ABBA’S as its mirror image exactly like I saw on the cover of the records. Invariably, when Miss Nita came back the next day, she called me and asked whose handicraft it was since I was the only one who used to wait after class hours. I smiled sheepishly and mumbled to her about the jumping song of a piper, russia’s love machine, a sad Fernando and his bright stars and the happy new year song... will you believe what she did, she gave me an éclairs J and I went skipping happily off to play 




Ma And Miss Nita Chowdhury